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              <text>&lt;p&gt;JOY&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;A favorite writer of mine, Eddie Askew, wrote these words…&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;"Lord, give me the strength to hold fast to love,&lt;br /&gt;Hold fast to you.&lt;br /&gt;I see you, hanging on the cross.&lt;br /&gt;'Father, forgive them…'&lt;br /&gt;But sometimes, Lord, they DO know what they do!&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;And still I need to love.&lt;br /&gt;If violence defeated violence&lt;br /&gt;then violence would be left. Victor.&lt;br /&gt;Lord, the victor must be love.&lt;br /&gt;Was love, on the cross.&lt;br /&gt;To death and beyond.&lt;br /&gt;And on the third day,&lt;br /&gt;in your resurrection life&lt;br /&gt;I find the courage to begin.&lt;br /&gt;Tremulous, hesitant as a newborn lamb,&lt;br /&gt;I stand with you, in love.&lt;br /&gt;Staggering and uncoordinated,&lt;br /&gt;yet the hope is there.&lt;br /&gt;That as I live in you&lt;br /&gt;and you in me&lt;br /&gt;the love will grow.&lt;br /&gt;The dream will become reality."&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;And so, following Christ's example, I strive to love those who would exclude me from the church.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;The lining of this stole is fabric which was used in our union ceremony.  Performed in Oklahoma by two Presbyterian pastors, the ceremony was held in a United Church of Christ sanctuary.  My partner and I have been together 15+ years.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I am an ordained deacon and elder… and a beloved child of God.  I am called BY GOD to serve the church and the world.&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;This anonymous Presbyterian, ordained as a Presbyterian Deacon and then Elder, asked that further identifying information be withheld. This individual and partner have now been together for 25 years.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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        <name>Marriage Equality</name>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;Anonymous Elder&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Clayton Valley Presbyterian Church&lt;br /&gt;Clayton, California&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;This is one of four stoles donated to the collection in 1996 by Clayton Valley Presbyterian Church, northeast of Oakland, CA.  We have no other information about this anonymous ordained elder.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Elder&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Clayton Valley Presbyterian Church&lt;br /&gt;Clayton, California&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;This is one of four stoles given to the Shower of Stoles in 1996 by Clayton Valley Presbyterian Church, northeast of Oakland, CA.  We know nothing more about this anonymous ordained elder.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;Behold, God is my salvation&lt;br /&gt;I will trust and not be afraid.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;For the Lord is my strength and my song  Isaiah 12:2&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Anonymous Elder&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;This stole honoring an anonymous ordained Elder is one of twelve stoles given to the Shower of Stoles collection by Tabernacle United Church in Philadelphia.  All twelve stoles are similar in size and style.  The three signature stoles are white and the nine individual stoles are purple; most have matching pastel flannel binding on the ends of the panels. &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Tabernacle United Church, United Church of Christ and Presbyterian union church located adjacent to the University of Pennsylvania campus, has a long history of activism, from its community organizing and support of a school for Black children in the mid-1800's to its more recent history of sanctuary in support of Central American refugees, peace activism, and outspoken advocacy on behalf of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons.  Tabernacle is both a More Light and Open and Affirming congregation, working for the full inclusion of LGBT people in the life and leadership of the church.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>ANONYMOUS GAY ELDER&#13;
&#13;
MESSIANIC JEWISH CONGREGATION&#13;
&#13;
This particular prayer shawl is for a gay man who is an elder in a Messianic congregation in North America.  Because the Messianic movement is so small, no more details about location can be given without risking identifying the person.&#13;
&#13;
The elder pays the price to serve the Lord, by remaining in the closet and remaining celibate. In his capacity as an elder, he teaches, serves on a board, fills in at the pulpit when the Messianic Rabbi is away, is part of the music team and is a prayer warrior. This elder asked that the stole be presented to help represent the work of all gay people within Messianic Jewish congregations.</text>
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                <text>Carol Seaton  </text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;THERE IS MORE LOVE IN GOD THAN SIN IN US&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;A LESBIAN PASTOR&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;This is one of about thirty stoles donated to the collection over the years by the members of Rutgers Presbyterian Church in New York in honor of their lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender members, many of whom hold leadership positions within the congregation and in the Presbytery of New York City.  We have no other information about this anonymous pastor.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Established in 1798 in lower Manhattan, Rutgers has a long history of involvement in social justice and community development issues.  Rutgers is a More Light congregation, working for the full inclusion of LGBT persons in the life and leadership of the Presbyterian Church.  Along with More Light Presbyterians, Rutgers is a sponsor of Presbyterian Welcome (an affiliate of That All May Freely Serve) and the Covenant Network in their common pursuit for the end of discrimination against LGBT persons in the Presbyterian Church.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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                  <text>The Upstairs Lounge Fire</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;Hurt by Label&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Editor, The Times-Picayune&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I want to make a few comments about the fire at the Upstairs Bar, and the saddest part of all is that I must ask you to withhold my name because of a fear of losing my job. The people of New Orleans have no idea of the pain and suffering gays are now going through. Many lost dear and close friends in that horrible fire.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;These gay people are now all asking the same questions. Why are gay lives looked on so cheaply? Where are all the expressions of sorrow for the victims and their families from our public officials and religious leaders? Why did church after church turn down request from the gay community to hold memorial services? Why do police refer to patrons of the bar as “queers and thieves”? And most important of all, why did the news media find it necessary to refer to the bar time and time again as a homosexual bar?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I am sure that not all of the people who were killed were gay, but even if they were it is grossly unfair to put labels on them. The relatives of those who died must live with this the rest of their lives and those who were injured are labeled for life which means possible loss of employment, etc….&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I have heard of only one group in the straight community that publicly offered sympathy to the victims and gave public support to the national day of mourning, this group being the LSUNO Young Democrats. It must have taken a lot of courage for this group to make a public stand such as it did. Thank God for our young people, they might be this city’s last hope. M.F. &lt;/p&gt;</text>
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                <text>A letter to the editor by a closeted gay person raises questions about the discounting of gay people in the aftermath of the fire.</text>
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                <text>&lt;em&gt;The Times-Picayune&lt;/em&gt;, July 4, 1973</text>
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              <text>24 November 1960&#13;
Dear George,&#13;
Thank you for forwarding Keith Wedmore's letter of the 4th. This is by way of brief acknowledgement and I wonder whether you would be so good to act as an Intermediary? I was deeply touched at this thoughtfulness in commenting on my comments, and I'm only sorry that as I didn't keep a carbon and returned the document to you I've very little idea of what most of it is about. However, that in no way diminishes from the vast pleasure I had in his letter.&#13;
&#13;
I think in point of fact that I could summon from the vasty deep most of the points, but I doubt whether it's worth my while doing so when the text has now had a hundred visions and revisions before the taking of a toast and tea. But if it is thought to be of the slightest use to the Bidder Committee (I decline to be drawn on KW's use of QCB) I am perfectly willing to comment on any further drafts as they become available. I think that with Wedmore's chapter list I can make slightly more intelligent comments, but if he thinks an explanatory covering letter would keep me on the rails, that might be even better. I think that on the whole I would prefer to deal with the matter through you if you're prepared to do all the forwarding, and I assume that KW marks his letters to you "confidential."&#13;
&#13;
The one point on which I do still feel strongly is the lengthy quotation from Hansard about the Labouchere amendment. I have two grounds for my hesitation:--&#13;
&#13;
a. style. I feel that it is most dangerous to incorporate long quotations unless there is an overwhelming necessity, and if KW insists on his full quote I am afraid that it will result in skipping, which is precisely what he wants to avoid. Let him state in the text forcefully that the amendment was introduced at a late stage in a fairly empty House on a bill for an entirely different purpose, and then if he likes refer to Appendix I for the recitation of the relevant Hansard. But to include the quotations will simply defeat his purpose.&#13;
&#13;
b. politics. Is not undue emphasis on the 1885 law rather dangerous?  In general I am in favor of Fabian tactics and letting freedom broaden down from precedent to precedent and all that, but recent suggestions of simple compromise of repealing the Labouchere amendment seems like to result in an intolerable and administratively unworkable situation. I think it is quite right to say that the L. amendment was almost accidental, but not to stress it, since the 1861 Offences against the Person Act, re-enacting a three-hundred old statute against buggery, was presumably quite considered and deliberate. It should hardly need stressing (the Wolfenden Report, I think, makes the point) that it is quite ludicrous for one form of homosexual lovemaking to be made legal in private, while another is not.  I speak out of a desire for fair play and not as an interested party--I dislike it personally, passively because of piles and actively because it is extraordinarily hard to kiss another man's lips while having an orgasm without pulling half the muscles in one's back.&#13;
&#13;
This is much longer that I meant it to be and I won't blame KW if he decides that he can't bear more maundering comments and would rather not send me future drafts as they are completed. But if this hasn't put him off and he really thinks I can do anything to help, I'll be glad to try my best.&#13;
&#13;
Yours,&#13;
Anon&#13;
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              <text>August, 1960&#13;
&#13;
Dear George,&#13;
&#13;
I have read Keith Wedmore's draft outline on the legal aspects of homosexuality. I assume that this is to be part of a larger pamphlet, but as I haven't any idea what the other sections are to be I find it hard to make any comments on this draft which are intelligent. Nor with the limited time I have can I marshall my views as systematically as I would like.  But here are a few immediate reactions.&#13;
&#13;
1. Is there not a strong case for getting as many as possible of the undisputed facts out of the way before starting on any argument?  I would like to see a pamphlet tackling the subject (very roughly) in this order:--&#13;
a. What is homosexuality?  i.e. an elaboration of para 1 of this draft.&#13;
b. What is its incidence?&#13;
c. That are the medical/psychological facts?&#13;
d. What is the legal position in England?&#13;
e. What is the 'climate of opinion" and theological background to the legal position?&#13;
f. What is the case for a change in the law?&#13;
g. What are the pastoral and personal problems which remain, law or no law?&#13;
&#13;
2. In general I agree with most of the argument of this draft, but quite clearly not all readers will, and I would prefer the (to me) delightful reference to St. Paul's sociology to come in after the statement of facts. And I would prefer a fuller statement to the views of other Christian bodies now to the Gibbon quotation, which hardly seems pertinent in a short pamphlet.&#13;
&#13;
3. The actual statement of the law on pp.l 3-6 seems to me admirable and might usefully end 2 lines from the bottom of p. 6. I would again doubt if it were necessary to quote Hansard at such length over the Labouchere clause.  I am glad the fact that homosexuality and sodomy are not interchangeable words is stressed because it seems to be believed by a lot of people who ought to know better (I always thought it was a pity that the Bidder Cttee used rather than squashing Fairn's use of QCB which seems to me just the sort of jocularity which gives the impression that people are not treating the subject seriously.) Ought not the first sentence on the subject to make it clear that sodomy and buggery are interchangeable words? (I suppose they are, but perhaps I am too innocent?). &#13;
&#13;
4. The latter part of the section 'The law in England' seems to me to belong to (f) and to follow naturally on the doubts cast on St. Paul's sociology. I would prefer a more chronological attack, beginning with the recommendations of the Wolfenden Committee and then going on to look at the debate of 29 June 1960 (not, please to be referred to as 'in the recent debate' which is quite unidentifiable.) and then to the text-book classification of crimes. In the last para, 3 lines from the end, after 'higher age of consent' the phrase '(e.g. 21, as recommended by the Wolfenden Committee)' would be useful.&#13;
&#13;
5. Some of my comments in the last 3 sections apply even if my comments on the general shape of the pamphlet are out of order. Even if the main shape of this section remains as it is it is quite clear to me that the last sub-section "How can help be given?' cannot remain as part of it. By no stretch of the imagination can it come under 'Legal aspects' and as a comment on pastoral, medical and psychological care I think it is inadequate, though much of it is on the right lines. I could comment a good deal more fully, but I think it is probably silly to do without seeing the draft of the rest of the pamphlet.&#13;
&#13;
Re-reading this, it looks fairly critical, but I think the draft is a good job and on the right lines and therefore worth being critical about. If I hadn't liked it i shouldn't have felt it worth commenting on. I don't know the author at all, but if you think we wouldn't think it a breach of confidence for you to show his effort to one of your less reputable friends, and it you think he can swallow having my comments inflicted on him, then you are at liberty to pass this on.  I therefore prefer (if I may) to sign myself simply and in typescript,  XX&#13;
&#13;
There are a vast number of points of punctuation and capitalization which are odd: doubtless the result of your staff getting so fascinated by the subject that they forget that acts of parliament generally have capitals (page 8 line 6) and that Jews are often happier thus (page 1 line 7). On the other hand I should have thought that if you were going to capitalize sodomy you should the same for gross indecency and indecent assault, and before you know where you are it will look like a Victorian Pamphlet, which was precisely (I thought) what the Bidder Committee was out to avoid...&#13;
&#13;
I have already pointed out to you once (with carefully checked references) that the fireside-happening quotation is attributed to someone else by Duncan Fairn in his Swarthmore Lecture--I've mislaid my copy, but it's a page or two from the end I think. You cannot have two members of the Bidder Committee attributing the same quotation to two persons: misquoting and misattributing is an Unnatural Vice.</text>
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&lt;p&gt;Dedicated at a service of worship at McCormick Theological Seminary&lt;br /&gt;Chicago, Illinois&lt;br /&gt;January 14, 1998&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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&#13;
United Methodist Church&#13;
&#13;
I knew I was gay when I felt and answered God’s call to ordained ministry. For over thirty years of ministry and marriage I struggled with the tension of not being able to be genuine and accepted for who I am. I was silent when the church struggled with the homosexual issue, afraid I would become a casualty if I spoke up or out. Living in that tension finally broke me physically, mentally and spiritually. Suspected of being gay, I was placed on disability leave. At the next General Conference, the rules were changed and I became eligible for retirement, so I retired in my early 50’s. For now I still have my orders, but I am not welcome to serve. I am healing and learning that God loves me as a gay man, and I am still struggling with my call. I hope and pray that I live to see the day when the United Methodist Church truly has open hearts, open minds, and open doors.&#13;
&#13;
I donate a Lenten stole, purple, with part of John 3:16 on it, because I, we, are members of the world God loved and loves. This stole was made for me by a friend – the friend who offered me a home and family when the United Methodist Church was no longer either to me.</text>
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&lt;p&gt;I am a Presbyterian college student.  I was one of the most active youth in my church; even with 1,300 members, everyone, including the pastors, knew me.  When I announced to my family and youth pastor at age 15 that I wanted to be a minister, I was received with congratulations and words of support.  At the time, I did not know that the PC(USA) was involved in institutional prejudice.  Now that I am aware, I unfortunately will never be ordained.  I am bisexual and I will not serve in silence.  I can not, in good conscience, lie to my church about who I am, nor do I believe it should be necessary.  It is for this last reason that I have remained a member of the PC(USA):  I have a responsibility to work for change.&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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&lt;p&gt;The College of Wooster was founded by Presbyterians, and although it it now fully independent the college maintains close ties to the denomination.  Wooster boasts a long commitment to progressive values; the first PhD in the college's history was awarded to a woman, Annie Irish, in 1882.  The college admitted its first Black students in the 1880's and has always maintained an internationally diverse student body.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;This stole was given to me by a third party when I visited the College of Wooster in 1998.  I was told that it was from a student, but we have no other information about this individual.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;The College of Wooster was founded by Presbyterians, and although it it now fully independent the college maintains close ties to the denomination.  Wooster boasts a long commitment to progressive values; the first PhD in the college's history was awarded to a woman, Annie Irish, in 1882.  The college admitted its first Black students in the 1880's and has always maintained an internationally diverse student body.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;This stole was one of the original 80 stoles that were on display on Sept. 16, 1995 when I set aside my ordination before Heartland Presbytery (see stole #1 for details). &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;Behold, I am the handmaiden of the Lord&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;for the singer &amp;amp; The Song&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;for the dancer &amp;amp; The Dance&lt;/p&gt;
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;This was one of several stoles dedicated at McCormick Seminary in 1998.  It is from an anonymous lesbian student at McCormick.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;For the unnamed students at McCormick Theological Seminary&lt;br /&gt;who live in silence...&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;May they know they are Beloved of God&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;Over the years I made a number of trips to McCormick Theological Seminary, my alma mater.  With a longstanding commitment to diversity, McCormick is the only historically Euro-centric seminary in the Presbyterian denomination in which Whites are now in the minority.  This commitment to diversity has made McCormick a relatively safe place for LGBT students over the years, but that same diverse student body -- with large numbers of Koreans, African-Americans, native Africans and Hispanics  from a wide range of countries and religious backgrounds -- has kept the conversation lively around LGBT issues.  Some students have used these opportunities to come out and tell their stories; others have found it more difficult to do so in such an intense and intimate environment.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;On this particular trip, about a dozen new stoles were dedicated on behalf of McCormick students.  Several were named, and included substantial stories.  A few, however, acknowledged those students who still struggled to find their voice.  The final line on this stole, itself created by an unknown donor, is both a declaration of faith and a compassionate prayer.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;To my seminary friends who are serving in silence,  I love you. &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Peace,&lt;br /&gt;Marilyn Nash &lt;br /&gt;1998&lt;/p&gt;
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Over the years I made a number of trips to McCormick Theological Seminary, my alma mater.  With a longstanding commitment to diversity, McCormick is the only historically Euro-centric seminary in the Presbyterian denomination in which Whites are now in the minority.  This commitment to diversity has made McCormick a relatively safe place for LGBT students over the years, but that same diverse student body -- with large numbers of Koreans, African-Americans, native Africans and Hispanics  from a wide range of countries and religious backgrounds -- has kept the conversation lively around LGBT issues.  Some students have used these opportunities to come out and tell their stories; others have found it more difficult to do so in such an intense and intimate environment.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;In 1998, Marilyn Nash invited me to bring stole to McCormick for the service at which she would be preaching her Senior Sermon.  Marilyn, who was "out" and an active leader in the local LGBT movement, had experienced open hostility from a couple of students that year, and she felt it important to have both the public statement and the support of the stoles surrounding her.  She received this, along with overwhelming support of the seminary community itself.  The chapel was packed for her service, with students and faculty from all walks of life sitting on the floor or standing in every available foot of space and spilling out into the entryway. &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Marilyn was aware that she was further along in her personal journey than a few other LGBT students who remained closeted, and that she was able to provide a strong voice on their behalf.  These few students were able to acknowledge that they were grateful for this gift, and for Marilyn's strength and courage.  This stole is a part of that gift, as Marilyn gracefully honored her beloved friends who were "serving in silence."&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Martha Juillerat&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Founder, Shower of Stoles Project&lt;br /&gt;2006&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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